The Unavailable B-sides - Dan Brotzel

I put on A Few Hours After This and I’m 17 again

half cut and head ringing 

standing in my mum’s kitchen in the middle of the night 

my heart washed clean by the orchestral waves 

breathing out smoke into the black back-garden

the last living soul in my suburban world  

I re-rewind the precious tape 

and read again the note she slipped me 

-- the words she’d never say:

just because I don’t meet your eye, 

doesn’t mean I’m not looking for you.

just because I don’t say it, doesn’t mean I don’t care…

and though in truth I never really knew her again

those words have stayed with me down the years

and now the music swells 

and the voice reminds me

of the many ways there are to yearn

Originally published in Other Voices, an anthology of poems about The Cure, 2018

Dan Brotzel's latest novel is Thank You For The Days (Bloodhound Books)